I hear what you say about the sound levels. Really nice piece though, I like the balance between the idea of a cloud of bees and the end result of honey. I wasn't listening through good speakers, but maybe a bit more bee sound? My instincts say more bass, more menacing to punch up the "cloud of bees" statement. Maybe not what you want though...
This version has a lot more narrative and sonic interest. You're close.
Here are a few things I'd be inclined to try to finesse it: ~ Give the voice more body (perhaps compress it a bit, or at least add volume) ~ Possibly fade in bees after first line of his voice (not sure on this, but I'm curious to hear what that would do) (That is, start with "This hive found me) then a clearly identifiable buzz, buzz. ~ Bring music in later (at .21 or .22-- right now it's comes in closer to 18) ~ Adding one last bee buzz "ornamentation after his last line before the music comes in
hi christine, cool, & much improved from first draft! okay so i have to let you know, it took me a couple of times to understand the first line "this hive found me". could the level be put up on this line? it *may* just be too unclear for the radio, we'll have to let tamar weigh in.
here's a thought. the last line about harvesting seems too squished up against the theme music (ie. no breathing room). i wonder about losing the first line altogether so you have room to bring some goood bee sounds up after the last harvest line?
or, if you *can* make the "this hive found me" line work, i would consider losing the last line and having more sound up time throughout the piece.
I hear what you say about the sound levels. Really nice piece though, I like the balance between the idea of a cloud of bees and the end result of honey. I wasn't listening through good speakers, but maybe a bit more bee sound? My instincts say more bass, more menacing to punch up the "cloud of bees" statement. Maybe not what you want though...
ReplyDeleteHi Christine,
ReplyDeleteThis version has a lot more narrative and sonic interest. You're close.
Here are a few things I'd be inclined to try to finesse it:
~ Give the voice more body (perhaps compress it a bit, or at least add volume)
~ Possibly fade in bees after first line of his voice (not sure on this, but I'm curious to hear what that would do) (That is, start with "This hive found me) then a clearly identifiable buzz, buzz.
~ Bring music in later (at .21 or .22-- right now it's comes in closer to 18)
~ Adding one last bee buzz "ornamentation after his last line before the music comes in
Good work!
Stephanie
hi christine, cool, & much improved from first draft! okay so i have to let you know, it took me a couple of times to understand the first line "this hive found me". could the level be put up on this line? it *may* just be too unclear for the radio, we'll have to let tamar weigh in.
ReplyDeletehere's a thought. the last line about harvesting seems too squished up against the theme music (ie. no breathing room). i wonder about losing the first line altogether so you have room to bring some goood bee sounds up after the last harvest line?
or, if you *can* make the "this hive found me" line work, i would consider losing the last line and having more sound up time throughout the piece.