A more concrete version of the apple picking haiku. I plan over the week to play with the verbal clips and try a few different versions—see what feels right. This feels like it's missing something big.
I put ambient orchard noise below the track to make it sound fuller/ without awkward dead pauses.
I think the thing the piece is missing right now is clarity about what is happening. We need a clear cue that you're getting ready to pick an apple!
As cute as it is, Maddie's voice is really hard to understand even after repeated listening. I think you can use her voice for lively punctuation if we know what's going on...
Do you have anyone saying the word apple or describing getting ready to pick an apple clearly on your tape?
Posts
I think the thing the piece is missing right now is clarity about what is happening. We need a clear cue that you're getting ready to pick an apple!
ReplyDeleteAs cute as it is, Maddie's voice is really hard to understand even after repeated listening. I think you can use her voice for lively punctuation if we know what's going on...
Do you have anyone saying the word apple or describing getting ready to pick an apple clearly on your tape?
-s